Many people struggle with self-confidence or feelings of not being “good enough.” These feelings are shaped by early experiences, criticism, bullying, bigotry, neurodivergence, trauma, abuse or relationships where we felt unseen, shamed, rejected or compared to others. Over time, we may begin to doubt our worth, silence our needs or lose sight of who we truly are. Low self-esteem leaves you constantly second-guessing yourself, people-pleasing, fear of failure, perfectionism or difficulty accepting praise. It can leave you feeling stuck, shamed and anxious.

If you grew up in an environment where your emotions weren’t validated — for example, through neglect, criticism, bullying or trauma — you may internalise the belief that something is “wrong” with you. When love or safety feels conditional, you may believe you’re unworthy or defective. Shame can quietly influence our relationships, confidence and ability to feel at ease with ourselves.

These feelings often come from experiences that were too painful, lonely or invalidating to process at the time — not because you are broken, but because you’ve been hurting for too long without the care and understanding you needed.

As an integrative counsellor, I draw on different therapeutic approaches to support you in understanding where these feelings began and how they continue to affect your life. Together, we can explore the roots of self-criticism, uncover unhelpful patterns, and gently build self-acceptance and confidence from within. Integrative counselling offers a gentle, accepting space to explore shame without judgment. Through a trusting therapeutic relationship, we can begin to:

• Understand where feelings of shame or self-blame originated
• Recognise the inner critic and its impact on your wellbeing
• Develop self-compassion and a kinder inner dialogue
• Reconnect with your authentic self and rebuild a sense of worthiness
• Learn to express needs and boundaries without fear of rejection

This process isn’t about changing who you are — it’s about reconnecting with your true self, the one that has always been worthy of kindness, respect and love.

Counselling can help you develop a stronger sense of self, healthier boundaries and a more compassionate inner voice, so you can move forward feeling more confident, grounded and at peace with who you are. In time, the heavy weight of shame can ease, replaced with greater understanding, acceptance and self-respect. Counselling helps you move from “something is wrong with me” toward “I am enough, just as I am”.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” — Buddha